Daily Regulation Routine for the Whole Family
Let’s be honest. Getting through the day with any sense of calm can feel like a win in itself. That’s why having a simple daily regulation routine can make such a difference. It’s not about being perfect, it’s about helping your child (and you!) feel more grounded, connected, and ready to take on what the day brings. Below, you’ll find a step-by-step routine and a breakdown of why each part matters, so it’s not just another list, it’s something that actually works for your family.
Morning (Before School)-
Goal: Set the nervous system up for success before the day begins
☀️ 1. Morning Connection (5 min)
Greet your child warmly with eye contact and a hug
Sing a silly song together, rub lotion on hands, or do a quick dance
Let him choose one activity:
Crash pad jumping
Drawing together
Animal walks (bear crawl, frog jumps)
🧠 2. Body & Brain Prep
Offer a high-protein breakfast with crunchy or chewy foods (great for sensory input)
Do a “brain warm-up”:
Deep pressure hug
Sucking through a straw
3 animal breaths (e.g., lion, snake, bunny)
Use a visual schedule so he knows what’s coming
🧘 Parent Regulator Pause
While he eats, do a few calming breaths
Repeat a grounding affirmation: “I bring calm. I bring safety. We can do this today.”
Afternoon (Transition Home)-
Goal: Help child shift from school mode to home mode with regulation, not demands
🏠 1. Transition Ritual
Say: “Let’s check in with our bodies after school.”
Offer a sensory activity:
Swinging
Running outside
Shredding paper
Crashing into pillows
💬 2. Co-Regulation Moment
Avoid asking questions right away. Instead try:
“Was today a red, yellow, or green zone kind of day?”
“Let’s both get cozy and take 3 big breaths.”
🎒 3. Body Before Homework
Always regulate before homework or chores
Snack + movement combo: crunchy food + 5-minute obstacle course
Evening (Before Bed)-
Goal: Close the day with safety, connection, and emotional regulation
🛁 1. Calm-Down Ritual (30–45 min before bed)
Lower lights, reduce stimulation
Offer sensory options:
Warm bath
Lavender lotion
Weighted blanket time
📖 2. Emotional Check-In
Read a calming book or draw feelings from the day
Use a script like: “What is one thing that made you laugh today?” or “What is one thing that surprised you today?”
🤝 3. Repair & Reconnect
If there was a hard moment in the day:
“That was tough earlier. We both had big feelings. We’re still a team.”
Reinforce safety: “Even when it’s hard, I’m here, and we are learning together.”
🌙 4. Bedtime Co-Regulation
Gentle touch, back rub, or soft lullaby
End with a soothing phrase:
“You are safe. You are loved. You are growing every day.”
Daily Regulation Routine Explanation
This guide explains the science and purpose behind each step of the Daily Regulation Routine. Each part is designed to support your child's regulation and development, while also helping you stay grounded and connected.
Morning (Before School): Start the Day with Safety and Connection
**Morning Connection (5–10 minutes)**
The morning sets the tone for your child’s day. A warm greeting with eye contact and physical touch activates the social engagement system, part of the parasympathetic nervous system, helping the body feel safe and connected. Singing or dancing together creates moments of attunement, reinforcing connection. Giving your child a choice between a few regulating activities (like jumping, drawing, or animal walks) supports autonomy and promotes engagement through sensory input and movement, which helps down-regulate stress responses.
**Body & Brain Prep**
Food and movement play a big role in nervous system readiness. Protein helps stabilize blood sugar and mood. Crunchy and chewy foods offer oral proprioceptive input, which is calming to the nervous system. Activities like deep pressure hugs, sucking through a straw, or animal breaths engage the vagus nerve, supporting parasympathetic (calm) states. These activities prime the brain for learning and attention. A visual schedule supports predictability, helping reduce anxiety by showing the child what to expect next.
**Parent Regulator Pause**
Your child co-regulates through your nervous system. If you're grounded, their body will borrow your calm. Even 2–3 deep breaths and an intentional statement like “I bring calm. I bring safety. We can do this today,” can shift your nervous system out of fight/flight into regulation. This is the foundation for co-regulation.
Afternoon (After School): Shift Gently from School to Home
**Transition Ritual**
After school, children are often in sympathetic (fight/flight) or dorsal (shutdown) states from the demands of the school day. Saying “Let’s check in with our bodies” invites a moment of awareness and connection. Movement-based sensory input (like swinging, crashing, or running) activates the proprioceptive and vestibular systems, which help regulate emotional and physical arousal.
**Co-Regulation Moment**
The brain and body need time to settle before conversation. When you ask about zones or offer breathwork instead of questions, you invite your child into co-regulation rather than cognitive processing. Red/yellow/green zone check-ins help with emotional literacy while honoring nervous system states.
**Body Before Homework**
Executive functioning skills (like attention and planning) require regulation. Trying to do homework in a dysregulated state can be counterproductive. A snack that involves chewing (oral input) and a short movement break (like a 5-minute obstacle course) help reset the system and improve focus.
Evening (Before Bed): Close the Day with Connection and Safety
**Calm-Down Ritual**
About 30–45 minutes before bed, help the body begin to wind down by dimming lights and minimizing noise. Sensory soothing, like warm water or lavender lotion, activates the parasympathetic system, telling the body it’s safe to rest. A weighted blanket offers deep pressure, which can help release calming neurotransmitters like serotonin.
**Emotional Check-In**
Bedtime is often when children finally feel safe enough to release the feelings they held all day. Using drawing or stories to process emotions helps discharge stored energy. Naming feelings and asking about body sensations supports integration between the emotional brain (limbic system) and thinking brain (prefrontal cortex).
**Repair & Reconnect**
If there were hard moments, this is the time to repair. Saying, “That was hard earlier. We’re still a team,” teaches your child that relationships can have ruptures and recover. This strengthens attachment and teaches emotional safety.
**Bedtime Co-Regulation**
Close the day with co-regulation — back rubs, lullabies, or gentle phrases support the nervous system’s descent into rest. Statements like “You are the best. You are loved” provide a secure emotional container, reinforcing safety and connection right before sleep.
💛 A Note for You
I see how hard you’re working. Every moment you pause, every time you try again, it matters. Your child isn’t the only one doing the hard work of growing, you are too. And even on the toughest days, you’re showing up with love and intention. That’s something to be proud of. Keep going. You’re doing better than you think.
